Monday, 6 February 2012

First Day of School

Dear World,

Today, my little boy with tousled hair, two big brown eyes, a cheeky grin and a big hearty laugh began his journey to become a man. It tugs my heart, when I walked him through the big school gates, his little hand in mine. He could hardly contain his excitement, a skip in every step. He waved goodbye with his confident hands, and said "bye mum" and went on with the rest of the class, doing whatever he was doing like he has done it many times before. It was his first day at school.

Daddy came along to say his "goodbyes". He said goodbye... about 9 times. But still stood in the corner of the class. Looking around, lingering. Come on daddy, let's go!

I walked out, proud and tall. Thinking I deserved a big pat on my back, and maybe pop open a bottle of champagne when we got home. 1 down, 2 more to go, hip hip hooray. But... I couldn't help myself, I peeped into the classroom window and looked at my little boy with tousled hair, two big brown eyes, a cheeky grin and a big hearty laugh. All grown up, in his new school shirt, shorts and black shoes.

My heart tangled in knots, crying silent tears. This small person has been my whole life for the past 5 years - and now there's all this time and space without him. And HIS days will be filled with new experiences, new friends and new interests. Without ME.

Lucas and Lily, wondered where's big brother koko? What is he doing? Where is his school? When's he coming back? Is HE coming back? Asking a million koko questions in a short span of time, over and over again (and it was only half day today). How will I cope with two little siblings WITHOUT HIM??

I guess it's just a matter of getting used to...

My babies, growing up too quickly too soon.

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1 comment:

The Carland Clan said...

Well said....and while it is such a special time for the elder ones....I'm struggling with middle,man. Lots of tears today. He has always done everything with her. How difficult it becomes when they have to have their own journies in the own time.